Thanks Mom!

Mother’s Day is here, and I’ve decided to compose an article which I consider long overdue. We’ve heard all the contradicting arguments for and against being a “stay-at-hone-mom” versus a “working mom”. Well-meaning moms have groaned over the unrealistic expectations sometimes placed on them by comparing them to the misnamed Proverbs 31 “Supermom”. The description in Proverbs 31 was never intended to be an exact blueprint of everything a Christian mother should be and do. I believe it’s meant to serve as a prototype, a model, if you will. A model of the way a wife and mom with the correct heart disposition goes about serving God, her family and her community. She unquestionably loves each, and demonstrates her love by investing her time, talents and treasure into blessing and pleasing them. So what really constitutes “Christian Motherhood”? A fresh look at this oft- misunderstood passage will help us discover what’s really the heart of the matter. THANKS MOM FOR BEING INTRINSICALLY MOTIVATED TO BLESS YOUR FAMILY. If the Proverbs 31 woman is anything, she is family-centered. The entire passage describes her in terms of her activities which are, either directly or indirectly, all done on behalf of her family. She insures that they are well fed, amply clothed, and properly trained. Even when her interests lead her outside the home, her energies are clearly invested in enterprises that will benefit her family, not herself. Should a woman be a homemaker? YES! Should a woman be free to pursue ventures outside the home that are domestically beneficial? YES! The issue never was and never will be the logistics of where she works, but the more important question of “for whom does she work?” The question isn’t whether she stays at home full-time; it’s whether her heart is there regardless of where she might be at any given moment. Look at the way she supports and compliments her husband. Her heart and character has completely won over his full confidence in her, and she unstintingly meets his needs (11). She’s concerned about his welfare, and actively seeks ways to provide for that (12). Her husband deeply appreciates the manner in which her industry and care-giving lend credibility to his reputation. She’s an invaluable asset to him domestically as well as professionally. Observe the way she treats her children. She invests huge amounts of time and energy into seeing that their physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual needs are met. From nutritious, home grown food to warm, well-made clothing, to wise and gracious instruction, her kids can count on her coming through every time (15, 21, 26). THANKS MOM FOR BEING RESOURCEFUL WITHIN THE REALM OF YOUR UNIQUE TALENTS. Just as every person is different, so every mom is different. No two moms have the exact same set of gifts and abilities. Some moms are stronger with domestics while others possess aptitudes in different areas. No gift mix is either right or wrong, as they’re all God-given. What we see here in Proverbs 31 is that this mom makes full use of all the abilities God has specifically given to her, and that she uses them to benefit others in general and her family in particular. She demonstrates uncanny abilities in the fields of real estate (16a), gardening (16b), bartering (18a), fashion design and tailoring (19, 21-22), marketing (24), child training and education (26) and domestic management (27). Her activities are not meant to reflect an inflexible laundry list that all mothers are duty-bound to check-off and live up to. Rather, they’re meant to serve as an example of how a woman can leverage all her talents and energies into productive endeavors that elevate and secure her family’s overall quality of life. Great moms figure out where their strengths are, capitalize on them fully, and use them to promote their family’s welfare. THANKS MOM FOR BEING DILIGENT IN HANDLING YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES. If an idle mind is the devil’s workshop, a mind filled with worthy pursuits is God’s workshop. Look at how the Lord leads this woman. He gives her the ability to put in some considerable hours. This “Proverbs picture” tells a story, not only of what she does, but equally so, the diligent manner in which she does it. No snooze alarm at this girl’s bedside. She circumnavigates the busy daytime schedule when the kids are home by sneaking in some chores before they awake, and long after they’ve retired for the night (15a, 18b). Her mindset is one of enthusiastic determination as she rolls up her sleeves and dives into her projects (17). Neither is she any stranger to good, old-fashioned manual labor that calls for one to work with their hands (19). Her remarkable industry is seen in her ability to produce a surplus of goods, which she dispenses to the less fortunate in her neighborhood (20). Great moms identify what they do best, go at it with all their mind, soul and strength, and share the proceeds with family and friends. THANKS MOM FOR BEING SOMEONE WE CAN ADMIRE AND APPRECIATE. You can tell a lot about a person by observing the credible things others say about them in their absence. This woman has managed to win the respect and admiration of just about everybody in town. From her husband and children inside the home (28) to the economically disadvantaged outside the home (20) to the women in the neighborhood (29) to those sitting on the bench at the county courthouse (23, 31), this woman is highly regarded by all who have seen her in action. Her diligent pursuit of everything good and wholesome merits the praise of all who have benefited from her tireless efforts to serve them in timely, practical and meaningful ways (28, 31). THANKS MOM FOR PLACING TOP PRIORITY ON YOUR WALK WITH GOD. Up until now we’ve cited example after example of how this woman conducts her life in an honorable, exemplary manner. But the best is saved for last on this one. What’s her “deal”? I mean, what’s her secret to maintaining such a productive, others-centered lifestyle? Simple. She puts others ahead of herself because she puts God first. She’s learned the secret of J.O.Y. – putting Jesus first, Others second, and Yourself last. The life that counts for God and others is a life that keeps Christ at its center. Peter said of Jesus, “God anointed Him with the Holy Spirit and power, and He went around doing good and healing … because God was with Him” (Acts 10:38). God was “with” this Spirit-filled woman, and SHE was “with” God. She not only knew the Scriptures, she did something outlandish – she actually lived them out! Her heart for God was the wellspring from which her desire to serve others so lavishly sprang up. “Loving God … Loving Others” – this is my home church’s slogan. And it’s a solidly Biblical slogan at that! This Proverbs 31 gal would be more than welcome where I worship and fellowship, as her whole life is a testimonial of affection for her Lord and loving attention to everyone around her. She’s found a way to be a “productive Martha” by first being a “devoted Mary”. When she hears the saying, “Beauty is only skin deep”, she gets it. Her primary focus is not on herself nor her exterior … on how physically attractive SHE looks, or on how socially adept SHE is (30a). Her focus is on having the right interior appearance (1 Peter 3:3-6), applying the heart cosmetics of gentleness and quietness. She’s all about being a blessing to the significant others in her life. Beginning with pleasing THE significant Other (God), she works her way out into boundless activity on behalf of her loved ones. She’s got her priorities straight as everything in her life places a far-distant “second” to her relationship with and respect for God (30b). Because she gets it right here, she gets it right at home and everywhere else. I believe that’s what God’s getting at here. I believe that’s the kind of realistic example every mom and homemaker can live with and aspire to. So there you have it. What I hope will prove to be a saner, more realistic and more accurate portrayal of what God’s trying to communicate through this fabulous piece of wisdom literature. It’s not about being a supermom … no mom can be because no mom was ever meant to be. What we do learn from this Proverbs 31 profile is that God wires each mom with a unique set of abilities. He’s satisfied when you balance your particular gifts and use them to serve Him and those who are depending on your diligence, dedication, kindness and generosity. So, guess what? You CAN be a “Proverbs 31 woman” AFTER all! Happy Mother’s Day to each and every one of you who are doing the best you can with what you’ve been given! Hey Mom, just keep on keepin’ on! 