MY TESTIMONY

MY TESTIMONY
John R. Petrilli

Before I came to know Christ and trust Him as My Lord and Savior, my life was typical – typical, that is, of a person who does not know God and is lost in his sin. The Bible says in Romans 3:23 that, “the wages of sin is death”; and that is just what my old habits led to – death. My wrong relationships with other people produced apathy, bitterness and rebellion. The hard rock music I was listening to was the vehicle I used to run away from reality into a world of make-believe. The marijuana I was using gave me a temporary sense of well-being that only ended in a state of emptiness and deep depression. My separation from God resulted in loneliness, fear and purposelessness.

It was after my first year of college that I began to search for spiritual truth. A coworker of mine was really involved in Zen-Buddhism at the time. He seemed to have peace and purpose, so I gave it a try. After a time of eating raisins and sunflower seeds and reading some strange books, I gave up on this first excursion for truth.

A short time later during my second year of college I met a guy who was really into T.M. (Transcendental Meditation). It wasn’t long before I was chanting my own personal mantra in my closet and weighing $65 lighter. Surely God hadn’t died; He’d just begun to charge admission into heaven. After a few months of this “Hinduism in a test tube” I saw that my life was not changing. I was right back where I started from, earnestly searching for spiritual truth.

It was in the spring semester of my sophomore year that God really began to work in my life in a visible way. I struck up a friendship with a Christian student who was on fire for the Lord. Every time I talked with him I seemed to walk away with a tract in my hand and a hunger in my heart. God had also brought a college counselor into my life who was a Christian.

It was about this time that God chose to place His Word into my hands. If I remember correctly, it was a slightly rainy day. As I was walking toward the college library I noticed a well-dressed man near the entrance handing out little green books. As I passed by I couldn’t resist his friendly smile so I took one. I didn’t begin reading the Testament immediately. However, the proverbs and parables in this little book began to grow on me. I found myself deeply absorbed in the Scriptures the following summer. Working as a copy boy at a local newspaper gave me many spare minutes to read a passage or two. I even remember rowing a boat out onto the middle of a lake in order to read my New Testament in solitude. It seemed that every time O would open this little book God would speak to me about sin in my life.

It was sometime in 1974 that I prayed to receive Christ into my life. Thus, however, was only the beginning. I now knew Christ as Savior but not as Lord. That is to say, I repented of my sins and asked Christ into my life, but I didn’t surrender my will and give Him complete control of my life. The results were devastating. As I tried to do good and serve God in my own strength, my whole life began to go rapidly downhill. My body became weak and ill, my grade dropped, I was emotionally unstable and God seemed unreachable. I began to realize the truth of Ephesians 2:8-9 – “For by grace you have been saved trough faith; and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not because of works, lest any man should boast.” It became increasingly apparent to me that God didn’t want my works … He wanted me!

After a year of trying to live the Christian life without Christ, I came to a crisis decision on August 25, 1975; either surrender all to the Lord or suffer a complete breakdown. By God’s grace I laid my will at His feet. At that moment of commitment the presence of God filled my soul. My body was healed, my mind was cleared, my emotions wee stabilized and God was so near I could feel Him! The verse that motivated me to make such a commitment is found in 2 Corinthians 5:15 : “And He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who, for their sake, died and was raised”. That same day I returned to college to complete the requirements for my two-year degree. In doing so, God brought a Christian student into my life to disciple me. We faithfully met to do Bible study and Scripture memorization together. God’s Word began to take root in my life. I started the habit of spending the first hour of each day alone with God, listening for His voice as I read His Word, and praying about various needs and circumstances in my life. A personal relationship with God had begun.

It’s been about 35 years since I trusted Christ completely and I must admit that I’ll never regret it. I’ve learned the importance of praying specifically and it is always a joy to watch how the Lord answers. God is also doing great things in my relationships with others. In Christ I have new power to be an obedient son, a loving friend, and a diligent employee. Some of the greatest work the Lord has done involves the way that I relate to myself. In place of hatred there is acceptance. Condemnation has been replaced by forgiveness. Instead of repression there is honest expression. Only Jesus Christ can make these kinds of changes in a life. He’s done so in mine, and I praise Him for that!