Jesus Was Single!

Jesus Was Single!

Many have taken up the task of writing something that will assist singles in making sense of their marital status. To avoid the risk of re-inventing the wheel, I’d like to approach the subject from a somewhat of different angle.

While most of us are all too familiar with the historical and biographical aspects of the life of the Lord Jesus, we’re often prone to overlook some of the salient details that provide a window into His genuine humanity. One such area is Jesus’ marital status. The most influential personality of all time went through life single. He never married! Although the institution of marriage is the design of God for most people, Jesus did not enter into the blessings of wedded bliss. Why? Could it be that, just as He entered our world at the very bottom of the social ladder to identify with the least among us, He also chose to remain unmarried in order to identify with those who would be single as well? Food fpr thought.

We often unconsciously place Jesus into a supra-human category all His own when, in fact, He experienced the same things in life as we do. He knew loneliness and endured misunderstanding. A closer look at the manner in which He dealt with the single life can be quite helpful. Yes, He was single, but let’s not miss the ways He coped with and successfully managed some of the complications entailed as He flew solo through life.


JESUS MAXIMIZED SINGLENESS BY MAINTAINING A BALANCED SOCIAL LIFE.

From the outset of creation, God made it abundantly clear that man, by his very nature, is designed for fellowship. No man or woman is an island, regardless of how independently free Simon and Garfunkel try to portray self-imposed solitude (“I am a rock, I am an island!”). As humans we’ve been given the unique gift of communication. We’re wired for relationship. To deny oneself in this area is to miss out on one of life’s richest blessings.

Jesus was single, but He was anything but unduly reclusive or antisocial. He actively pursued relationships that fulfilled His God-given need for companionship. Although He had no spouse, Jesus surrounded Himself with good and godly friends. We see Him often retiring to the home of close friends like Mary, Martha and Lazarus for fellowship and refreshment (John 10:38 ; 11:5 ; 12:1-2). He eagerly shared His mountaintop experiences with an inner circle of His most trusted associates like Peter, James and John. In times of great suffering and trial, Jesus made sure there were friends nearby to provide Him with support and strength. Though single, He always made it a point to avail Himself of the comfort and encouragement that’s found in the presence of close friends.

He enjoyed the warmth of human companionship, and so should we. If you lack friends, the responsibility for taking initiative may well be yours (Proverbs 18:24a, NKJ). As we extend ourselves to others, we often find many who would enjoy having us as their friend. Nursing homes and hospitals are full of lonely folks who’d give anything for the company of a listening ear and a caring heart. And let’s not forget the fellowship resource we have in our church family. There is a wealth of encouragement and companionship waiting to be tapped into as we connect with others of like precious faith (Hebrews 10:24-25).


JESUS MAXIMIZED SINGLENESS BY MAINTAINING A DYNAMIC DEVOTIONAL LIFE.

I can almost hear the groaning as I bring up this point. But it is highly relevant. Proverbs describes Jesus as a friend that hangs right by our side (Proverbs 18:24b). And Jesus knew Who to approach when He needed the kind of company that transcends human fellowship. There are some facets of our fellowship with God that are truly unique. He’s the perfect listener, the wisest of counselors and the most trustworthiness of friends. God befriended Abraham, and together they journeyed through a life of adventure and accomplishment. There are treasures of rich wisdom and comfort waiting to be discovered within God’s Word.

Jesus spent a considerable amount of time in quiet solitary reflection in the presence of the Father. Indeed, He made such rendezvous’ with God His top priority, sacrificing sleep just to capture some quality time alone with God the Father. Jesus was single, but never alone. He knew where to go when He needed a place of solace and deep reflection. The Lord’s prayers were characterized by confidence (John 11:41-42) and urgency (Hebrews 5:7 ; 4:16). His communion with the Father was sweet and intimate, not unlike a young child appealing to its father (Mark 14:36a). Jesus interchange with the Father was highly transparent as well (Mark 14:36b). In the quiet environs of private prayer Christ found a place of refuge where He could unload His cares and come away renewed and refreshed. His prayer times gave Him the emotional balance and clear spiritual perspective necessary to walk through life as a spiritually victorious and practically productive single. In this regard His prayer life is most instructive for singles who often find themselves alone.


JESUS MAXIMIZED SINGLENESS BY ACTIVELY PURSUING OPPORTUNITIES FOR SERVICE.

If idle hands are the devil’s workshop, then we need to find ways to fill our single lifestyles with meaningful activities. In addition to everyday work responsibilities and recreation, the Christian single is uniquely positioned for service. Paul addresses this concept at length in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. There he makes the case that singleness should be seen, not as a burden, but as a tremendous blessing. Free from the many responsibilities that come with the territory of being a spouse and parent, the Christian single has opportunities for outreach that the time and energy demands and constraints of married life simply don’t allow.

Try to picture the life and ministry of our Lord had He been married. I can just see it now, Jesus and His wife conferring on what to do with the children while He goes away on a three year itinerant gospel campaign. Yeah, right. It just wouldn’t have happened. The Father had a particular job for His Son (John 17:4), and that special work demanded Jesus’ full time and attention. Anything less would have been insufficient in the outworking of God’s eternal purposes. Whether it was doing lunch with a social reject (Luke 19:1-6) or stopping long enough to look deep into the eyes of one who was spiritually searching (Mark 10:21a), Jesus had the space and time needed to meet with people and help them along in their spiritual journey. In Peter’s words, Jesus “went about doing good” (Acts 10:38). This comment reveals the itinerant and spontaneous nature of Christ’s service. Sometimes we get so caught up in the logistics of formal ministry we forget that meeting people’s needs is often an unplanned thing. Jesus didn’t have a pulpit to call His own, or even a synagogue for that matter. He went out and engaged people right where they were. He didn’t wait for tem to come to Him, He went to them. And He was able to do so because He was free from all marital and parental obligations.

Perhaps a conversation with your pastor or a trusted Christian leader in your church family could present some area of ministry God might use you in. Or maybe your calling will be outside the walls of the church building somewhere in a community full of need. While singleness is a calling of sorts (1 Corinthians 7:17, 20, 24), it doesn’t necessarily follow that this marital status is permanent. Circumstances can change over time (1 Corinthians 7:21), and God may actually have someone for you to share life with somewhere down the road. The neat thing is that while we’re faithfully serving and enjoying the blessing of giving to others, God is at work preparing us for the future, whether that be as a single or as a married person. The stories are endless of how God crossed the paths of two singles as they served together in some type of service. Singleness is a gift that we should use to the maximum glory of God and the benefit of others. Therein lies the secret to contentment.

Jesus taught that singleness is threefold in its origin (Matthew 19:11-12). Some people are single by God’s creative design (“some are single because they are born that way”); others are single due to circumstances out of their control (“some were made single by men”); and others are single by personal choice (“some have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven”). Regardless of the factors leading up to one’s single status, we each must choose whether singleness will be something we enjoy or something we endure. The key is all wrapped up in the attitude we bring to the table. When we affirm the will of God that we are called to be single for the time being, we’ll free ourselves from much of the frustration, anxiety, and discouragement that often accompanies the solo flight.


JESUS MAXIMIZED SINGLENESS BY MAINTAINING COMPOSURE IN THE FACE OF THE STRONG TEMPTATIONS ENCOUNTERED BY THE UNMARRIED BELIEVER.

Thus far we’ve considered some of the ways in which our Lord handled singleness. Such a study would be seriously incomplete without addressing the issue of temptation in general and sexual temptation in particular. Did Jesus experience temptation in this area? At first glance such a question may appear as borderline blasphemous. However, a more studied examination of His life reveals a startling answer. Pastor and author Max Lucado infers as much when he observes, “For thirty-three years He would feel everything you and I have ever felt … He was susceptible to wooing women.” But we don’t have to rely on the words or opinions of mere men. The writer to the Hebrews couldn’t be any clearer on this point … “[In Jesus] we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been TEMPTED IN EVERY WAY, just as we are – yet was without sin” (Hebrews 2:15).

It is hard for this writer to imagine someone going through this life never experiencing the lure of temptation to sexual sin. Indeed, the wilderness account of Jesus’ temptation shows that the enemy of our souls specializes in appealing to our physical desires. Following a fasting marathon of no less than forty long days, the tempter made his first move, enticing Jesus to prematurely break His fast and eat food which He would have miraculously transformed out of mere stones. The devil knows the natural drives we possess as human beings and vigilantly waits to capitalize on them when we’re at our weakest. But here’s the catch. Note how Jesus counters what must have been an unbearably strong temptation. “IT IS WRITTEN!” (Matthew 4:2-4). You can bet your bottom dollar that this was the selfsame response Jesus had when confronted with the lure of sexual temptation.

The lust of the flesh is listed as one of the main points of contact the believer has with sin (1 John 2:15-16). Fully aware of the ongoing struggle singles endure in this critical area, our Lord points the way to victory, and the pathway to purity is His Word (Psalm 119:9-11). Jesus had made it His habit to store away God’s Word in Hs heart so that He would have the weapons necessary to win the warfare with sin. While Christ is totally in touch with what we face at the deepest levels of our weak and fallen humanity, He also provides a way of escape that leads to victory, true freedom and great inner peace (1 Corinthians 10:13). It behooves the Christian single to make use of that door often and without hesitation (Genesis 39:12).

If a single believer wants to get serious in this area, it will require the discipline of habitually staying clear of any and all compromising situations (Romans 13:13-14). An occasional failure in thought or even deed can be thoroughly forgiven and cleansed when repented of (1 John 1:9). The pathway to sexual purity isn’t easy, but is very rewarding. The demands of the Christian life are great, but the help we need to live victoriously is equal to the task, and available 24/7, 365 (Hebrews 2:18).